


Re: Greed

by Ayamatsu



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Gen, Greed if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28452102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayamatsu/pseuds/Ayamatsu
Summary: This takes place a few days after Tappei-sensei's, Re: Repeating life in another world.Natsuki Subaru has upheld the contract all he could but Echidna has lost interest in his ability of Returning by death. So she decides to break the contract. Subaru is in absolute despair when the crystal shatters and in hopes that if he returns by death, he might be able to stop that from happening but instead of going back a few hours, he is sent to a time where the events of Arc 4 are still happening.Subaru has two options now, he can either re-enter the contract or he can undo all his mistakes.What will Natsuki Subaru do?
Comments: 15
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 0: Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello I'm Ayamatsu, the mistake and I'm here to tell you that.... I'm absolutely in love with Re:Zero, well from my name you can obviously discern the fact that my favourite route is the Ayamatsu/Pride route but I also love Kasaneru/Greed if, so I thought why not a write a fanfic with the ideas I had.  
> Welp, you're looking at it. Anyway thanks for reading this, I appreciate it. I also want to thank my friends on discord for helping me with this, thank you.  
> Well before you jump in here's a little preview, 'This was what Subaru Natsuki had become, a mere puppet and his every move was controlled by Echidna and Echidna, the puppet master controlled his every move and through him controlled everyone.'

_Cra-ack._

The sound of cracking echoed through the hallway along with the red glow that emitted from the crystal, the youth looked at it for a second.

Subaru felt something that he hadn't felt in a long time.  
_Shock._

"Ah, Echid-'' he started, the realisation had set in "-NAAAAAAAAAAA, Echidna!!!" His screams filled the asleep mansion.

Subaru was working on the documents, when he had the sudden urge to go to the toilet. He had left his room and was about to enter the bathroom when suddenly the crystal necklace cracked and fell to the ground. 

Subaru tried to pick them up and piece them together but it was to no avail, the crystal had broken into a thousand pieces.

"Why?" Why? What did he mean by why? Subaru didn't know. Why did Echidna leave him? Why did she break the contract? Why now? Why? That's all Subaru had to ask. "Wasn't she the one that wanted a contract? Didn't she practically beg me to be in a contract with her? Now she just up and leaves? This is not right, she didn't inform me, she didn't tell me anything, I have the right to be informed you know?" The growing despair in his eyes further proved that he was completely dependent on her, without her Subaru was just another guy who couldn't do much in this world. 

"May- maybe if I die, I could go back to a tim- time where sh-she didn't break the contract." Subaru turned around and ran down the hall, his surroundings became hazy and his lungs began to fill up with the cold air of Lugnica. 

"Hah, hah, hah," Subaru stopped at a door, panting heavily whilst resting his arms on his knees. He took in a deep breath before standing up straight and knocking, "Elsa, are you awake?" His knocking grew more intense until the door swung open, Elsa stood opposite to him, a few inches taller than he was, she had to look down to see him. _'Thank God,'_ Subaru thought to himself, _'Thank God, she's here today.'_

Still sleepy, she rubbed her eyes, while asking, "What, Natsuki-san?" 

Subaru sighed and told her, "Please kill me." 

Elsa stopped rubbing and looked at him as if he had gone mad. "Huh, are you joking?" She furrowed her eyebrows, narrowing her eyes at him, "Did you wake me up for a joke?" 

"Elsa," Subaru said calmly, "do I look like I'm joking?" He pointed his right hand to his face and looked at her with an absolutely expressionless face. "Look, you can cut open my guts after you kill me but first you have to kill me and make it quick-"

Subaru hated saying this word. In his mind he knew that he didn't have the right to say this word, after all that he did to others, he knew he shouldn't say it, but…

"-and painless." He felt his lips part as the word rolled out. 

Elsa didn't protest, she knew Subaru was something of a madman. But she had never seen the true insanity residing in him. She nodded her head and pulled out her Kukri from seemingly out of nowhere. 

_Ssss, Crun-nch_

Subaru felt nostalgia, 'Ah,' the Kukri moved in the darkness as it cleanly and silently sliced through his neck, bones and all. 'Hahaha, I'm sorry, Reinhard, Emilia, Beako, Garfiel… I'm sorry Rem.' the boy saw the darkness near, death was another part of his daily life. He died- over and over again- just so he could save them. 

This was what Subaru Natsuki had become, a mere puppet and his every move was controlled by Echidna and Echidna, the puppet master controlled his every move and through him controlled everyone. And without her Subaru was just a doll, it couldn't walk on its own, it couldn't talk on its own, it couldn't do anything on its own. 'Just another mere doll.' he thought to himself, a soulless imitation of the man he once was but it was going to be okay. Since his life didn't matter as long as the others were safe, so Natsuki Subaru took the oath he had taken several times before, 'I swear I'll save you.' he thought as the life from his face drained and his eyes lost their light- The light of life.

Everytime he died Subaru's soul was sent to an endless abyss, where he would float around for a bit before being sent back in time but this time– something felt different. Subaru couldn't quite wrap his fingers around it but something felt different. Something was out of place, he felt that the time he normally spent here was longer. 

He closed his eyes, his hands on his chin. Trying to come up with a theory for what was happening here. But suddenly he felt light hit his eyelids.

_'Light?'_ he asked himself as he slowly opened his eyes whilst shielding them. 

The trees swayed in the wind and the sunlight bounced off the green leaves thus making them sparkle. The birds chirped as they drank the morning dew still present on the leaves. 

Subaru shivered, it was still cold, wherever he was. He looked down at his clothes, they were still his old, black vest and white shirt mixed with the black trouser pants. But what Subaru was searching for was the red pendant that used to adorn his neck.

It wasn't there, he searched his pocket and felt bits of what seemed to be glass. 

"Ha," he exhaled, "hahahahahaha." He laughed as he felt true insanity engulf him when suddenly a voice called out to him.

"What're ya doin' over there?" It was crude and sounded child-like but Subaru knew who it was. 

"Ga-Garfiel." He turned to the golden haired boy, who had his arms folded across his chest and looked at him with an angry expression. "Yah, that's mah amazin' self, ya got any doubts?" 

_Sniff, sniff._

"Garfiel… Garfiel, Garfiel, Garfiel, Garfiel." Subaru let the tears flow. He had lost everything and right now he just wanted someone, anyone, even if it was Garfiel. He fell to his knees and then folded them as he bent over so that his forehead touched the ground, "she abandoned me, Garfiel. She abandoned me!" He cried, he sniffed and he cried some more all the while Garfiel looked at him in absolute confusion.

"E- eh, what are you talking about?" The golden-haired boy asked whilst opening his mouth wide in shock.

Garfiel had never seen Subaru cry, granted that they had only met a few days ago but yet Garfiel felt something, he didn't know what it was but it told him that Subaru was in great pain.

****

This is the story of the boy who went too far back in time. A story of correcting mistakes, a story of regrets but most importantly, a story of atoning


	2. Chapter 1: I hate you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Subaru meets with Garfiel and then decided to go talk to Echidna and in his anger, Subaru yells at Echidna but soon calms down... But Subaru has to through the other two witches to reforge his contract. Will Subaru go through with the contract or will he have a change of heart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Again thank you for reading this chapter I appreciate it... I'll try to upload chapter 3 by next month... But I got classes 🗿.

The Tomb loomed over Subaru as he stared at it with his empty eyes. 

"Why the hell are ya starin' at it like that? Ya hate it or somethin'?" Garfiel looked at Subaru with his arms crossed and his forehead wrinkled. "Ya know you've been givin' me the creeps ever since I found ya." 

_Sigh_

Subaru sighed as he turned his attention to Garfiel. "Garfiel, how many times has Emilia taken the trial?" He pointed to the tomb whilst asking his questions.

"What do ya mean how'any times? You and Emilia-sama just arrived yesterday." 

"Oh–"

'Looks like I've been sent back to the sanctuary, possibly before the contract.' 

Subaru stared at the moss infested stairs of the sanctuary. "–Garfiel, I'm going into the sanctuary." Subaru put his foot on the first step when suddenly he felt a strong hand pull him back.

"What the fuck do ya mean yer gonna go in? You wanna get hurt like'hat clown?" The scar on Garfiel's wrinkled as he furrowed his eyebrows, his sharp, jade eyes looked at Subaru, annoyed.

"Garfiel, let me go." Subaru said in a monotone voice as he brushed off Garfiel's hand. 

Garfiel's mouth fell open in shock, revealing a row of sharp, feline, fang-like teeth. Who was this standing before him? He was supposed to be scared of him, not just brush him off like he was some kid. Garfiel just stood there, staring at Subaru, not knowing what to do. 

He couldn't come up with anything to say, he couldn't even punch him. It was almost as if– "Wh-what are ya?" Garfiel stuttered as he watched Subaru walk up the stairs of the tomb. Subaru looked back and smirked at Garfiel, "Isn't that obvious?" 

– he was a monster, an emotionless monster.

****

_Tap, tap_

The taps created by Subaru's shoes echoed throughout the tomb as he slowly made his way through the dimly lit hallway using the walls for support.

He walked through the hallway and was soon at the entrance of the room where the trial took place. His hands shook as he slowly reached for the door handle. The cold, heavy, metal door creaked as it opened and Subaru was greeted to the dimly lit room where he had returned over and over again. 

_Pain, suffering, death… Hell._

Subaru had seen everything in this sanctuary and yet it was dear to him. Maybe because this was where the last time the real Natsuki Subaru showed himself or maybe because this where he got accustomed to death. But right now Subaru didn't have the time to sit around and feel nostalgia, he needed to talk to Echidna. 

He walked towards the middle of the room and yelled at the top of his lungs, 'I want to know! Answer my call, Echidna!" His voice echoed throughout the room as he felt his consciousness warp and the next moment he knew, he was standing at the foot of a small hill and atop the hill sat Echidna who looked at him, her porcelain white skin glowed in the sun and her black, abyss-like eyes seemed to study him.

"Natsuki Subaru, huh? Why are you here?" Echidna's white hair swayed in the serene wind as her mouth twisted into a smile.

Subaru walked up the hill as the grass beneath him followed the wind and bent in the direction it was flowing in. Whereas Subaru's expression was definitely not in contrast with the scenery. His eyebrows were furrowed and his teeth were exposed, it looked almost like a beast baring its fangs. 

_Anger, another emotion that Subaru hadn't felt in a long time._

"Oh- why do you wear such an expression," She jokingly turned to the side and placed both her hands on her cheeks and continued, "Your lecherous eyes are scaring me. I'm still a maiden, please don't hurt me." 

_Slam_

Subaru ignored her comments about his face and slammed his hands on the table as he asked her a single question, "Why?" 

Echidna flinched at the loud sound and looked at Subaru, confused. "What do you mean why? What are you talking about?" 

What did she mean? She very well knew what he was talking about. She left him in the middle of a contract that she offered, was she kidding with him? Was she joking? She had to be, after all she was someone who transcended time, she had to know what happened.

" 'What are you talking about?' that's what you ask after what you did. You broke our contract, even though I died hundreds of millions of times. Why did I do that!? So that you could satiate your own curiosity!? So that you could satisfy your own greed!?" Subaru yelled at her as the fire in his sanpaku eyes raged.

"Wait, wait, let's calm down now. I really, really don't know what you are talking about, I'm very confused. What do you mean I broke our contract? This is the first time we are meeting. How could I make a contract with you?"

"Wha-" he asked as lines formed between his eyebrows. 'Is she joking? She has to be joking, I mean she knows what happens, she is a genius, isn't she?' "Echidna don't joke around please. This is serious, I'm back in the sanctuary again, I don't think I can do this without you."

Echidna was utterly stumped by Subaru's outburst, she felt like there was some kind of misunderstanding here since she never offered him a contract. What was this kid even talking about? "Subaru, I never offered you a contract but since you want to be in one with me I- I guess, I wouldn't mind. Of course you don't have to enter it, it's not like I'll feel sad or something."

"Ah, you're one confusing character, I literally died a hundred million deaths for reasons like telling someone what the weather is going to be on that day." Subaru recalled his recent reason for death, in fact Echidna made him repeat that day twenty times before he was finally able to get to the next day and at night she just broke the contract and disappeared. 

What Echidna found the most interesting was the air of casualness around him whenever he talked to her, he looked so calm and relaxed whenever he was near her, it was like they were old acquaintances.

"So you want to enter into a contract with me?" Echidna tilted her head to the side and asked him.

"Yes, that's what I asked." Subaru closed his and exhaled heavily as he answered.

"Very well then–" Echidna extended her hand towards Subaru. "Please-"

" '-put your hand here' yeah, yeah, I know, I already told you, I've done this contract before." Subaru's hand was about to touch Echidna's hand when suddenly a huge boom sounded right next to them as particles of dust rose to the sky and the shockwaves produced by it made their hair sway to the side.

Standing between the crater that she had formed with her fist was Minerva, tears adorning her almost transparent, blue eyes. She looked at Subaru and adorably yelled at him, "Why are you doing this!? You want to get hurt over and over again?! You want to make others cry!?" 

_Silence_

Subaru looked confused, 'Why was she here? This did not happen the first time.' he turned to Echidna who was still smiling whilst looking at Minerva, he then turned his attention back to Minerva and said, "What are you babbling about? As long as I am the only one who suffers, no one else has to do it."

"Must be nice to be you. No matter how everyone else feels, you can always make the excuse that you're suffering the most." Minerva looked at him mockingly as she crossed her hands across her chest. 

"Are you–" Subaru sighed, "Nevermind I don't have the time for this." Subaru again reached out for Echidna's hand when suddenly Minerva came flying at him, her fist aimed at his face.

Subaru's cheeks jiggled like jelly as the shockwaves from her punch were sent throughout his face and he was sent flying away from the tea table but what Subaru later found strange was that he didn't feel pain, in fact he felt light. He felt like the burden and the stress put on him by his ability to Return by death was suddenly gone. Subaru absolutely got addicted to that feeling of freedom. But… his duty came first, he had to save them, he was the only one who could do that.

"Look, I don't care if I die, I can always return but what about them? Can they do that? No, so I don't care if I'm the only one suffering, I will die a thousand times to save them. It's not like I matter anyways." Subaru sighed as he made his way back to Echidna. 

When suddenly he felt a cold tingle in his heart and it looked like he was not the only one who had felt that, since Minerva and Echidna suddenly turned their heads to the north. The sky darkened, the air around them became heavy and huge, dark, clouds began to form in the skies.

Subaru began to breathe heavily as he saw a familiar visage approach them, her face covered with a dark veil, an intense dark aura, her dark dress fitted her perfectly and strands of her silver hair rolled down her shoulder.

Subaru felt _fear_. Absolute _fear_.

Why was she here? What did she want from them? How did she get here? Nothing made sense to Subaru anymore.

"You made it past all those barriers to enter the castle of dreams?" Echidna looked at her annoyed. 

But instead of answering Echidna, she trudged towards Subaru, her arms outstretched, her voice whispering her love, "For so long… for so long I have loved you…"

"Stop," Subaru said in a shaky voice as memories flooded in.

_A white dress stained with red, her beautiful, amethyst eyes, lifeless, her smiling mouth now covered in blood and her beating heart, crushed._

"I love you." She preached of her love to him, yet again.

"Stop it." Subaru closed his ears with his hands as a way to shut out her voice.

"I have loved only you for so, so long." She was now a few metres away from him when suddenly he screamed, "STOP IT!!" Satella stopped in her tracks, her arms still out stretched.

Everybody flinched at Subaru's sudden outburst. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shutupshutupshutupshutup! I don't want to hear anything from you! I hate you! I just want to get back to my life! Is that too much to ask!?" Subaru screamed.

"So you're just going to keep dying? Start over again? Make everyone around you cry? Just so you can reach your desired future? You know, that way of thinking makes you viler than a witch and above all–" Minerva turned her head to Satella,"–you're being very ungrateful to her." 

"Ungrateful? Weren't you the one who gave me this power!? And I'm vile because of it!? What the hell!? I can die… over and over and over and over and over again, that's one of my biggest strengths, I can save them if I have information on what happens, I can save them no matter what and the more information I have, the higher my chance of saving them. I had to die thousands of times to simply get out of the sanctuary and yet I'm back here, what makes you think that if I stop I'll be able to achieve a better future. It's not going to be any different, I'll die even if I don't take Echidna's hand. So it's better that I arrive at a perfect future rather than arrive at an imperfect future where I'll have to die a lot more than I usually do. But, either way I'm stuck with a horrible future and as long as it only happens to me… they don't have to worry…" this was Subaru's breaking point, he didn't wanna suffer anymore. The feeling of freedom and peace that Subaru Natsuki had felt earlier, he felt the need to cling to it. Tears flowed from his eyes as his nose wrinkled, "I- I'm the onl- only one that has to suffer…" the aura of despair surrounding his body was huge. His void-like eyes now showed pain. His normally smiling face, now had despair written all over it. This was the true Natsuki Subaru. A being afraid of losing the ones he loved, a being who wanted to be happy, Natsuki Subaru wanted to be human again. He wanted to feel again, he wanted to cry again, he wanted to truly smile again. 

"Don't be hurt." Satella made her way to Subaru and put her hands on his cheeks, "Don't suffer, don't look sad… love yourself more." 

Subaru raised her head as he looked at her in shock. "What?" Was the only thing that escaped his mouth. "Love myself more? What if I lose my ability to Return by death because I decided to love myself more? Wouldn't they suffer? Wouldn't they be in pain? Wouldn't they die?" Subaru looked at her through tears, his blurry vision somehow made out her beautiful features. 

"Love yourself more, treasure yourself more. It's because you saved me that I will let you be saved too, so love yourself more." Satella whispered her love for him. Subaru didn't want to love himself, he wanted to save them but that small feeling of happiness was something he wanted to hold onto. He knew he was being selfish, he worried that if he chose to be happy, he would be hurting them, making them suffer. But he didn't want to make them cry either.

"But…" Subaru didn't have a reply. He didn't care anymore, he wanted to agree with her, he wanted to but– "I've to save them, how do you propose I do that? What can I do that will save them? I'm back in the sanctuary and the great rabbits are still out there, what do you suppose I do? And Roswaal, he won't give up. What should I do?" –Subaru looked at her hopefully but she didn't answer his question instead she looked at him and smiled, "what does that mean? What does that smile mean? You didn't even answer my question!"

"You're really dumb, aren't you?" Minerva mocked him. 

Subaru's face turned in Satella's hands to look at Minerva, "what do you mean?" 

"I asked you not to suffer… I asked you not to be hurt… I asked you not to be alone… Don't be alone… You don't have to do everything on your own… You don't have to take the burden all alone…" Satella whispered.

"Ha, ha, ha, of course… if only… but I've to repay them for everything. And what do I have other than my own life?"

"Love them, fight next to them, talk to them, make it known that you'll be there for them." Minerva smiled at him as she tilted her head, she had seen his real feelings when she punched him, she had seen what Subaru really was. He was a lonely, little boy who was not afraid of losing. They could not do much to help him but it was his choice whether he wanted to continue dying or stop himself and others from suffering. 

"I know… it has become a habit… but if you continue… you're going to hurt yourself more and those around you…" Satella said in a low, almost weak voice.

"... It's your chance at redemption, don't waste it…." 

Subaru stared at her, his mind trying to wrap itself around the idea of redemption. He would be able to save Beatrice, he would be able to make Emilia independent again. He would be able to help Garfiel to overcome his past. He would not hurt Reinhard but most importantly… he would be able to get his friend back.

"Haha, right… I don't understand you guys, seriously what's the deal with you guys?" Subaru laughed as he put his hand on Satella's and pulled it down. "But thank you, for letting me die and willing to help me-" he turned to Echidna who smiled with her eyes and then he turned to Satella and Minerva, "-and thanks for not letting me die." He gave them a weak smile. "If not relying too much on my return by death is what it will take to love myself it will be very, very difficult, in fact I feel that it has become an addiction but… I want to overcome that addiction, I want to feel that feeling of happiness once more, I want to become Natsuki Subaru once again so I'm sorry Echidna, I won't be able to take your hand, since your contract requires me to suffer and die. I don't want to get used to it but thank you." 

Echidna nodded at him and smiled, "I understand. I just don't want you to think I'm a bad witch, after all I've been watching you for a long time and I don't want you to feel that only Echidna was evil until the end." She put her index finger on the side of her lips and looked away, a slight blush on her porcelain white cheeks.

"Haha, I won't think like that, don't worry. But I still hate you for leaving me alone but knowing you, you wouldn't care." 

Echidna's eyes widened at his comment, it was not because she found that comment offensive but because of the fact that it had hit, right on. Echidna didn't care if he hated him but 'how did he know that?' was her question. "How---" Echidna stopped and smiled, 'You're more interesting than I thought, Natsuki Subaru.' she looked at Subaru as he smiled.

He then smiled at each and one of them as the castle of dreams shattered around him and soon he was standing in a white void and facing him was Satella. "Will you be alright?" She asked as her veil faded revealing her beautiful amethyst eyes that were overflowing with tears. 

"Yeah, I'll be."

"Don't fret alone, don't forget that there are people who grieve for you." Satella smiled.

"And thanks for making her forget." 

As the void faded away, Subaru gave Satella a final smile. 


	3. Chapter 2: Dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Subaru has returned to his senses and decides that he will save them without dying. He wants to adhere to the promise.
> 
> Will Subaru be able to do that?  
> I don't know! I'm not giving anything away!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem- I'm splitting chapter 3 into 2 parts because this is GreedBaru, he's going to die... A lot. Yes, I'm a fuking sadist. 😏

Chapter 3: Death (Part 1)

"Krhhhkk," Subaru stirred, "ugh, my head…" he tries to raise his hand to caress his head but suddenly a wave of nausea hits him as the bile rises in his throat.

Subaru's hand immediately shoot towards his mouth in an attempt to cover them but—

_Goouaaahh_

A familiar cry rings through the air of the tomb as Subaru throws up on the floor. 

He turns around as a black, blurry figure runs into the room. Her black body glistened in the dimly-lit room, "Patrasche?" Subaru looked up at his feisty dragon who peered back at him with her orange eyes.

_Guoah!_

She roared as her beak-like mouth grabbed onto Subaru's collar and began dragging him towards the entrance.

"Woah! What are you doing Patrasche?" Subaru flailed around trying to break free from Patrasche but it was to no avail as he was dragged towards the entrance whilst leaving behind a trail of dust particles on their path. 

"Why did you come in there? It hurts you, doesn't it?" He half-yelled at the ground dragon as she looked at him with a blank expression before letting out a small 'Guoah.' which almost sounded like her telling him, 'Because you're dumb.'

"Huh!? Oi, oi, don't call me dumb! I would have come out on my own. You didn't have to save me! Now look at you! Hurt all over. Don't you understand you could've died in there!" Subaru raised his hand in protest before lowering it and whispering, almost to himself, "Then I would need to die to save you…"

"Natsuki-San! Have you seen Patras-" A tall, platinum colour-haired man came running upto Subaru, panting heavily with panic imbued in his voice. "-oh, there she is. Wait! Why is she covered in bruises!?" 

Subaru sighed as a smile crept across his face. He didn't know if it was a genuine smile or just another one of his fake smiles but he smiled nonetheless. 

'Ha, you never change, do you Otto?'

"She went into the tomb to come and save me. I don't know what happened on your end though but she is very hurt could you ask Garfiel to heal her?" Subaru looked at Otto with a happy expression.

It was obviously fake, Subaru did not have the power to be genuinely happy but he managed somehow. Echidna's ways of abusing his power had him rendered emotionless but so as to not worry Emilia or anyone else, he would always practice smiling in front of a mirror and he got so good at it that no one was able to tell if it was a fake smile or a genuine one. 

"But Garfiel is a demi-human Natsuki-san. I don't think he can heal her." Otto stared at Subaru. Something seemed off.. were it his eyes? Or was it his smile? Otto didn't know. In fact he seemed no different then how he was yesterday but there was this feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him that…

_This is not the Natsuki Subaru I know._

"Ahem-" Subaru coughed, "-Otto, Otto, OTTO!" Subaru yelled whilst snapping Otto back to reality.

"Uh… Yes, Natsuki-San?" Otto was still confused about Subaru. He didn't know who he was talking about but Subaru seemed so… normal. Nothing seemed off until he had that smile on his face. It was creepy. It was scary. 

'Is there really something wrong or is it just me?' Otto asked himself. Was he just being paranoid? 'I mean I didn't sleep yesterday. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. I should really get some sleep.' he sighed before realising that Subaru had been talking to him.

"... So I want you to take her to Garfiel. He is quite good at water magic." He finished.

"Yes, I understand, Natsuki-San. I'll do that." 

'Huh?! What the… why did I just say that? What is it about him that makes me think he's superior to me?'

Subaru sighed as he waited for Otto to leave. "Oi, Otto…" he called out, "... Are you gonna take her? Or should I go?"

"Huh? Oh, no, it's okay, Natsuki-san. I can take her." Otto bowed as he grabbed Patrasche's reins. 

"Oi, oi, what are you doing? Why the fuck are you bowing? We're friends, right? You shouldn't be bowing.." 

"Huh?! Why did I just do that?! I'm sorry Natsuki-San! I didn't mean to!"

"Haha, you never change Otto. It's okay. Just take her to Garfiel, she looks like she's going to faint from the pain."

———————————————————

Subaru's eyes surveyed his surroundings. He was hiding behind the bushes that were present in front of Roswaal's house. He held up the branches that he had collected on his way here as soon as he heard the wards door creak.

Ram walked out of the house, her cold, pink eyes had her usual monotone expression. She exhaled loudly before walking down the stairs and disappearing into the forest.

'This is my chance!' he tells himself as he drops the branches and begins to dash towards the house when suddenly the hair present on the back of his neck rises. 

'Something's coming.'

Subaru Natsuki coughs up blood. His eyes didn't show much emotion as he saw the sky and the ground at the same time before hearing a thud. Subaru's thread, the thread of life had snapped before him as the upper half of his body flew and fell on the ground with a loud thud.  
"Who killed me?" He asks himself as he feels his breathing getting shallower by the second. Suddenly, out of nowhere he heard the rustling of leaves. His vision was blurring but he tried his best to see who killed him. 

He squints, nothing. He squints a little bit more and sees pink..

Subaru felt like he wasn't getting rid of death. He felt like he couldn't stop dying. He knows that he promised but it was impossible not to die in this world. But that small moment of satisfaction, happiness he had felt… Subaru didn't want to let it get away from his grip. He had to save them. He didn't really have much of a plan in this loop. 'I'll need to have a game plan in the next.'

"Roswaal-sama isn't impressed, Barusu." 

Subaru sighs as he sees the darkness near. 'Roswaal, huh? What's his problem now?' The burning sensation of death was an all to familiar sensation to him. 'Ah fuck it, I'll see you guys in the next loop.' he thinks to himself as he draws his last breath. 

———————————————————

Gah!

Subaru's eyes shot open as he began gasping for air. "Hah, hah, was that… Ram?" What? It can't be, right? Ram maybe cold and a self-centred person but she wouldn't kill him, she wouldn't hurt him… unless-

'There's something happening.' Subaru's eyes trembled as he came to the realisation that the timeline was deviating. This meant that he couldn't use any of his previous knowledge. Nothing would help him. There was no way he could save them. He would've to rely on Return by Death more. But--

'I promised…'

What matters more to you? A promise or the ones you love? Don't you think you're being a little selfish? Don't you think you're worrying only about yourself? Don't you think you're acting-- **Greedy**. You want to be happy. You want what you felt. But… you want it at the cost of others. You want it so much that you're willing to sacrifice others? That's the very definition of **Greed**. You're nothing more than a selfish bastard at this point. Nothing but an asshole who just wants everything for himself. You should've taken the contract. You should've--

**'SHUT UP!'**

Subaru's voice cried out, loud enough to silence it. "You think I don't want them to be happy!? Of course I want them to be happy! Don't act like you know me! I have died a thousand- hell- a million times! I have walked through hell a thousand… Million times! I want to help myself whilst helping others! What's so wrong with that!?"

'Haha, you're no different. You're just like her. You're greedy. You want everything, even though it'll cost you a lot. Truly, you should've just accepted the contract.' what was this voice in his head? What was it? Who was it? 

"I'm Natsuki Subaru, I have the power to repeat, I've the power to correct things, I was relying on Echidna to get through this world but I have died enough and so I want to redo everything. I'll never accept the contract. Yes I'm greedy, I want everyone around me to be happy and I'll do anything to achieve that. Not even me can stop that from happening!" Subaru's eyes glowed with passion. This was a new start and a new way for him to become Natsuki Subaru again. If he had to sacrifice his numbness to death for it, so be it. 

'Death is not something you get used to anyway.' he smiled, a genuine smile that wrinkled the sides of his mouth, his eyes were burning with passion as he got up and looked around him. 'Ah, looks like my save point is the same as before.' Subaru was standing in the middle of the dimly-lit room. His eyes looked around as he tried to find his way out when suddenly…

_Guoahhh!_

A loud roar ripped through the air and in came Patrasche, her black skin glimmered an excellent blue due to the dim light as she roared once more.

"You came to save me once again, huh Patrasche?" Subaru was truly grateful to her. She would always save him, she was always there to help him whenever he needed it. She was always there… Subaru's hand reached out and landed on her head as he began patting it, "Thank you, Patrasche. Truly, thank you." 

Patrasche tilted her head as she looked at him with her orange eyes before letting out what seemed like a sigh. She then proceeded to headbutt him and immediately grabbed him with her beak-like mouth and ran towards the entrance.

"That hurts!" Subaru screamed, almost comically as he felt the pain in the pit of his stomach. 

But Patrasche didn't listen to his screams and dragged him out. 

"What do ya think yer doin' runnin' off like that?" Garfiel stood under the blinding sun, his jade green eyes looking slightly less jade green-like. "If ya don't have the qualification' ya could've died, ya know?" 

"Oho, is the little tiger worried about me?" Shit, shit, shit, why did he say that? He wasn't supposed to know that! This could get him killed. Shitshitshit. 

"Oi, oi, don't go around callin' me little! I'm not little ya know. But more importantly…" Garfiel put his hands on his chin, "... Nevermind, Frederica must've told ya."

Fuuu, he dodged a bullet there. He needs to be more careful… but it doesn't matter if he died.. 'STOP, NATSUKI SUBARU!' his hands rose from their lax state and slapped his cheeks. 'It does matter!' 

"Oi, what the fuck are ya-" Garfiel started when suddenly, "Natsu-Natsuki-san! Have you seen Patrasche? She ran away and---" Otto came running up to them before stopping in front of Subaru and putting both his hands on his knees as he tried his hardest to get the oxygen into his body. 

"Oh, Patrasche is right--" Subaru turned around and was met with Patrasche, who was lying on the ground, blood dripping from her mouth, her eyes looked like they were tired and she seemed to have a hard time breathing as she was panting heavily.  
"Patrasche! What's wrong!?" Subaru ran to her side, kneeling down he lifted her head up a bit, "Otto you can talk to her, right? Ask her what's wrong. I beg you." 

What was this feeling? It felt like his heart was being emptied, it felt like his stomach wanted to lurch, it was a strange feeling. Subaru tried his best to remember what it was called as he watched Otto try to get her to talk. It made his heart feel cold, it made him wanna vomit, it made him feel like there was no hope left. It was certainly a strange feeling. Was it depression? Nah. it must be anxiety then? I don't think so. Is it… **despair**? Subaru fell silent. Yep, that was it. It was despair. Was it the right feeling to feel at the moment? Subaru didn't know but that wasn't important right now, Patrasche's breathing was getting shallower, the light in her eyes were flickering, if they didn't do anything right now, her death would be inevitable. Subaru didn't want that. He didn't want Patrasche to die, if she did then… No, he didn't want to think about it. He just wanted someone who could heal her. "Heal?" Subaru's eyes landed on Garfiel who was looking at Patrasche with shock, "Garfiel! You're good at healing, right? Could you please cast healing magic over her? Please, I beg you." Subaru begged. "Please, I don't want her to die.." 

Garfiel, instead of answering, ran over to them before putting his hand over her head as a light blue glow emitted from them. 

The pain in her expression seemed to vanish for a minute but… 

Subaru looked at her as she heaved on the floor, her blood and bile slithered around on the stone floor as her eyes rolled back in her head. 

"No… no… nononono! Patrasche! Open your eyes please! Please!" Ha, that wasn't like him. Did he ever cry? Did he ever feel the need to cry? Of course not? The tears he was shedding right now were nothing but mere props. He was going to kill himself anyway. It didn't really matter if he cried or not. But… he wanted to cry. He wanted to cry because of how incompetent he is. He couldn't even save Patrasche. He couldn't even keep a promise. He didn't even know how she died. 

'It doesn't matter anymore. I'm gonna return by death. I'm gonna save her. I'm sorry Satella… but…' Subaru pulled out a shard of the shattered crystal, it was quite small but it was big enough to end him. End his very existence in this world. 

Subaru Natsuki smiled, "I'm sorry you two.." his hands moved swiftly as the shattered shard entered his neck… Ah, the nostalgia, this was the 3rd time he had died like this… now that Subaru thinks about it, he doesn't really use this method much.. it's quite effective too, it kills him in almost an instant.

Subaru stared at Otto and Garfiel as they tried to heal the wound in his neck, 'Ah, you both are fools. You need to remove the shard before you heal me… but that's what I love about you guys..' Subaru Natsuki died a second time after he had travelled back in time. Subaru knew that he was breaking the promise but did it really matter? He was still going to save them.. he couldn't just give up on them… Patrasche was important to him, just like how Emilia, Beako, Garfiel, Otto and everyone in the sanctuary is. 

Sure he wanted to improve and not rely on Returns by Death a lot but this was his only ability… 'I promise I won't abuse it…' he says as he draws his last breath in this loop.


	4. Part 2 of chapter 2: Dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh... The same as chapter 3 part 1. 🗿👌

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem-- I'll probably be going on a hiatus after this chapter. But I'll upload the 2nd chapter bof my other fanfic before doing so.  
> Anyway thank you for reading!  
> Hope you have a great day/night!

Chapter 3 (part 2) 

Was this how it was going to be from now on? Was he incapable of changing? Was he incapable of getting rid of that habit? Is this what his life was going to be? Dying? Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again? 

'Does it really matter if you don't die? You'll still move forward either way. So just give up on trying to do all this yourself and just go back to Echidna and beg her to reissue the contract. You'll be fine after that.'

Subaru stood up and started walking towards the entrance when the voice told him that. 

He stopped in his tracks as he began to consider the option. It'd certainly be a good idea to get help from-- what!? No! He can't do that! He'll just go back to dying again. Subaru wanted to change. He needed to change. This was of his own free will, nobody- not even himself could stop that from happening. 

_Guoahh!!_

'Shit, I forgot about Patrasche!'

Natsuki Subaru's walk quickened until he was running at full speed towards the entrance. 'I need to get out, get out, get out, get out!'

The light that shone through the entrance neared as Subaru ran towards the entrance. He needed to get out, quick. If he didn't Patrasce would come in and if she did… 'Stop thinking about that, Natsuki Subaru! Just run, don't stop until you reach the entrance, just run, run, run. You can't let Patrasche die. She should **not** die! No matter what!'

Subaru's breathing got ragged as his surroundings got hazy, his only focus was on the entrance. It seemed like his pace was slowing down because of something he couldn't see. But Subaru didn't try to stop and think, he needed to get out befo—

A black figure ran into the tomb and stopped in its tracks when it saw Subaru running towards it with all his strength. 

_Guoahh?_

"Patrasche, get out! Get out now!" Subaru yelled as he swung his arm telling her to get out. 

Patrasche tilted her to the side as she looked at Subaru confused. "Guoah?" 

"Goddamn you legs! Run faster! The hallway is not that long! Why the hell am I running so damn slow!?" Subaru felt like he was moving through mud. He felt like he wasn't going to make it. 'This is not the time, Natsuki Subaru! Get yourself together! You're the only one who can save her! Stop thinking, just run!' 

Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. That's all he could do now. The only thing he could do was run towards her and save her. If he didn't he'll kill himself again… and again and again and again until he can save her. 

'Oho, what about your promise? You're gonna break your promise to her? That's disgusting. Truly **disgusting**. Truly **revolting**. Truly **repulsive**. All you do is lie and make empty promises. You think you can fulfill your promise to save her. Hah! I don't think so. Patrasche is going to die. Just like you. This tomb… it doesn't want you here.' The voice inside his head laughed. A laugh that sent shivers down his spine. That laugh reminded him of someone he absolutely hated. He hated them so much that he couldn't fathom what he would do to them if he ever found them.

"Shut up! I don't have time to deal with you right now!" Suabru was nearing the entrance, 'just a few more step-'

_Guoah!?_

Suddenly Patrasche was pulled out of the sanctuary through her reins as she let out a confused 'Guoah'.

"Huh?" Was the only word that escaped Subaru's mouth. What was that?- no- who was that? Who pulled Patrasche out of there? Was it--

Subaru's eyes closed when the sudden light blinded him. His hands shot up to shield his eyes as he tried to make out the person who pulled Patrasche out.

"Otto?" He asked whilst squinting, making him look scary due to his evil gaze. 

"Ehhh?! Don't look at me like that Natsuki-San! Your eyes are scaring me!" A panicky voice complained.

"Yep, that's Otto," Subaru nodded with his eyes closed before, "huh? Oi, wait! Don't call my eyes scary." He yelled before, "Anyway, why did you pull Patrasche out?" 

"Oh, that. That's because I heard you yell, 'Get out!'" Otto said whilst mimicking Subaru's evil-looking eyes and his voice. 

"Stop! Stop making fun of my eyes!" Subaru raised his hands in protest. "But… Thanks Otto, you did a good job pulling her out. If she was there for even a second longer--" he turned to Patrasche as he began patting her head, "--I don't know what I would've done to bring her back." He whispered almost to himself. 

"Huh? What was that Natsuki-San? I didn't quite hear you." Otto cupped his right hand around his right ear as he asked.

"Ah, it's nothing, pay it no heed. You should take her back to the stable and feed her. I need to go do something important--" Subaru smiled as he walked down the stairs and out of Otto's sight. 

"Something's wrong. Something's definitely wrong." Otto put his hand on his chin, "don't you think so Patrasche?" 

Instead of answering with her usual 'Guoah' Patrasche charged at Otto and hit him in the back with her head. Otto was thrown forward and fell face first on the dirt, with his butt high up in the air.

"What was that for!?" He asked whilst getting up and rubbing his nose, that was throbbing red.

 _Guoah! Guoahhhh! Guah!_

"Uh-huh. Yeah. And? Oh… I'm sorry Patrasche-sama, I didn't know that it hurt you. I'll never pull your rein like that again! Please forgive me!" Otto knelt and bent down such that his forehead touched the ground as he begged for forgiveness.

_Guah._

Patrasche nodded her head in agreement whilst her eyes were closed.

Otto smiled, "you're truly a handful sometimes," "I don't know how Natsuki-San does it." He asked himself as he grabbed Patrasche's reins and led her towards the stables.

______________________________________________________

Subaru walked on the village's dirt roads, his hands on his chin whilst deep in thought, 'The timeline might have changed but I'm pretty sure the objective is still the same. Defeat Elsa and subjugate the great rabbits. I don't know how I'm going to do it, now that the events are changing but I'll find a way. I need to find a way.' 

He continues to walk aimlessly around the village for a while before stopping near Roswaal's cottage. 'He's going to be the major problem.' his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at it. 

"Barusu, could you stop staring at it like that. Nobody deserves to be stared at like that, especially by you." A monotone voice called out to him. 

Subaru turned to find himself subjected to the cold gaze of the pink haired maid. "Ram…" his voice was distant as the memories of the first loop flowed. Ram had killed him. He didn't know why but there was something happening behind Subaru's back that was changing the entire timeline. Subaru needed to know what it was or else there was no way he's going to defeat Elsa or the Great rabbits. 

"Yes, I'm the most beloved Ram. What does a common man like you want from me?" She suddenly backed away as a disgusted look crept across her face. She looked down at Subaru as if he was some kind of animal. "I-is it what I think it is?! Disgusting Barusu!"

"Oi, what? Stop looking at me as if I'm some kind of pervert that just flipped a girl's skirt! What did I even do to incur that feeling?!" Subaru yelled as he raised his hand in protest in a comedic way. 

"Ugh, you're truly the lowest of the low. How could you even think of doing that?" She asked, the disgusted expression still on her face.

"Again what the hell did I do!?" 

"Barusu you're truly disgusting, thinking of doing something like that to a woman… you're the very thing that this world tramples on." 

"But what did I do?!" 

"Anyway… what are you doing here?" Ram asked as she stood up straight and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Oi don't breeze past that like it was nothing!" Subaru yelled, "but yeah, I'm here to talk to Roswaal." 

"What do you want with Roswaal-sama?" Ram asked as the coldness in her eyes intensified and her body stiffened.

"I just want to talk to him. About the mansion and the snow. I know you know what I'm talking about Ram."

Ram didn't respond but instead looked at him with her cold eyes. She did know what was going to happen but-- "I do know what Barusu's talking about but I only serve Roswaal-sama and I won't say anything." 

"That's good enough for me. Now let me go in there." Subaru asked.

In fact when Subaru was about to go inside when Ram had grabbed his hand and with her inhumane grip it was almost impossible to break out of it. Subaru tugged, pulled, jerked, prised but it was to no avail. Ram was on a whole another level when compared to him.

"I can't. You're not allowed to see Roswaal-sama." Her stolid voice resonated in Subaru's mind as he tried to discern why Roswaal didn't want him coming in.

'But that doesn't make sense. What does he have that he wants to hide? Isn't his goal to make me accept her contract? Is there something else that he's hiding?—'

"Hmmm.. I understand," Subaru nodded as he turned around, "just tell Roswaal this, 'whatever you're planning I'll make sure to crush it.'" Subaru smirks and begins to walk away as Ram's cold gaze follows him until he disappears out of her line of sight.  
______________________________________________________

Subaru walked towards the cathedral still deep in thought. The sun was setting and the orange hue bled onto its roof. The stars were starting to come out and the sky was filled with puffy clouds that looked like cotton candies with orange syrup spread on them. 

'This is going to be difficult but I need to somehow get in there without Ram seeing me. But with her clairvoyance it's going to be difficult. She's almost impossible to defeat by myself. I'm going to need help but…' Subaru sighed as he made his way into the cathedral when suddenly, "Uwah!" A loud thud sounded as the silver haired man fell on his butt, "watch where you're going Natsuki-San! That hurts you know?!" He complained as he rubbed his back in an attempt to lessen the pain. 

"Ah, Otto. I didn't see you there." Subaru offered his hand as he said.

"Eh? What do you mean you didn't see me? You were looking straight at me." Otto took Subaru's and Subaru pulled him up. 

"Really? I didn't know. Sorry Otto."

"Eh, it's no problem but what are you thinking about so much?"

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." He smiled that fake smile again. 

"If you say so…" Otto stepped to the side as he let Subaru through.

'Something's definitely wrong. Tell me what it is, Natsuki Subaru! We're friends after all! Do friends hide things from each other!? If you don't tell me what's wrong by tomorrow I'm going to punch you in the face and force it out of you.' Otto was frustrated, he knew something was wrong but he couldn't put his head around what it was. In fact, he could go punch Subaru right now… that was a viable option, "hmm yeah, I'm going to go do that." Otto takes one step before he feels the cold wind that blows into the cathedral. 'Cold?' it was summer, there was no way it was this cold. 

Suddenly Otto feels someone speed past and he turns to see Subaru whiz past him as he runs out of the cathedral before standing in the open grounds of the castle whilst looking at the sky.

'No, no, no, no, no, no! Why's this happening now!? Didn't I get three days before the Great Rabbits showed up?! Why the fuck is Roswaal creating snow now?! No, no, we're going to keep dying like this! We're going- I'm going to keep dying like this! This is not right!'

'Hahahaha, that's what I thought, Roswaal is certainly hiding something but that doesn't matter to me. I'll enjoy watching you try and escape the Great Rabbits. I'll enjoy watching you die. I'll enjoy watching you break your promise to her over and over again. This is going to be so fun. Sooooo fun! HAHAHA!' The voice in him was crazy- no, insane would be a better word to describe it. It enjoyed death. It enjoyed watching him die. That laugh of its that Subaru hated so much was his own. It was his own laugh that Subaru hated. He hated himself so much. Why was he so incompetent? Why couldn't he do anything on his own? Why was he so useless? Why? Whywhywhywhywhy? He didn't want to die but then again he didn't feel the pain of dying. Why was he what he was? Was there anything that could help him in this situation? Anything?

'Echidna.' the voice said in a stolid way. 'Echidna is the only one that can help a pathetic loser like you. Make sure you beg her to reissue the contract next loop.' 

"Next loop? What do you me--" Subaru's eyes grew wider as his pupils grew smaller. All he could see was a sea of white mixed with specks of blood here and there. The Great Rabbits had filled the entire village as they mercilessly ate away at anything that contained mana. One of the Rabbits turned to Subaru as it stared at him with its red eyes and not before long it had reached to where Subaru was standing. 

Subaru didn't move- he couldn't move. The trauma of when he first died at the paws of the Great Rabbits still lingered around in his mind. Sure he had died because of them atleast a thousand times but the first time was vivid. He still remembered seeing his hand fly across his eyes when it had been bitten off. He still remembered how the rabbits had entered his body. He still remembered how much it hurt when he felt his organs being eaten. He still remembered the sea of white that had turned red because of his blood. He still remembered seeing the cathedral burning. He still remembered everything. These memories were still fresh in his mind even though a million years had passed. And what he was seeing now was a repeat of the past. He was going to die atleast a thousand times again. 'Ah, hell. I'm just gonna go beg her to reissue the contract.' Subaru sighed as the rabbit began nibbling away at his legs. Soon the other rabbits joined, they bit open a hole in his chest and entered his body through them. They ate, devoured, ripped, bit, nibbled, feasted, chomped, swallowed, chewed, crunched, munched and gnawed but their hunger was not satiated.

 **They were gluttonous** , they never stopped until there was nothing left of him, not even a shred of flesh. But yet they moved, into the cathedral, into the village, into the houses. Nothing stopped them as they ripped open the people in the sanctuary, devouring them with no mercy.

These were the great rabbits. They were hungry around the clock. And they never stopped eating because they felt a hunger so great that whatever they ate felt nothing more than a morsel of rice. They willl continue eating until they had destroyed the entire world with their sin of gluttony.


	5. A Present that's unthinkable, unbearable and most probably inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He thought this was his chance at redemption. It was not.... Or was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be going on hiatus since the last time I said this, I didn't. I'm damn tired from school and want to take a break for a little while. I'll resume Re:Greed and Re:Family when I get back.  
> Sorry for the inconvenience!

"Echidna…" was the last word that had left his mouth when he had died. He needed her. He couldn't do anything without her. He was weak and just another waste of space without her. He had rejected her contract the first time but after seeing the great rabbits last loop, Subaru didn't know what to do. 

His– their– life was on the line, he could die over and over again but there was no way he could do anything in six hours. It was impossible. 

So, when Natsuki Subaru looped, he didn't walk out or he didn't even try to stand. He sat there for a second before bowing and touching his forehead to the ground as he said, "I want to know." The voice that escaped Subaru's mouth was greedy. It was so greedy… how could he just ask someone who he had rejected earlier to reissue the proposal

'For someone who's prideful, you sure know how to beg.' the voice in his head commented. 

"...." Subaru ignored the voice as he called out again, "Echidna ple—" the words that followed brought back memories that have haunted him ever since, 

'Behold an unthinkable present'

"Subaru! Why!? I thought you said you weren't going to leave me! You lied! Subaru, you liar! You liar! You liar!" The wails that filled the air had everyone in the field looking down at the grass.

Emilia lay on Subaru's chest as she cried her eyes out whilst yelling 'liar' over and over again. Even though she thought that'd help with the pain she was feeling, it never did. She didn't know what to do without him. She thought he loved him. Why? Why would he leave her like this?! 

Whereas Felix had tears streaming down his face, a blue glow emitted from his hands as the wound on Subaru's neck began to squelch, the threads of the muscle and the tissues began to reattach. 

Soon the skin had reattached but Subaru showed no signs of opening his eyes. In fact his body had grown colder and Emilia couldn't help but stare at his lifeless face as she continuously hoped that he'd wake up. She hoped that he'd wake up and tell her he was sorry, tell her that he loved her but—

'Behold an unthinkable present'

A sculpture— an ice sculpture with a shattered leg lay on the snow, it had a sick laugh carved into it. It was a laugh that induced the feeling of disgust in anyone that viewed it. But it was not until someone looked closely at it, would they realise that what they were looking at was not a sculpture but a body. A body of a youth called… Natsuki Subaru. 

"You should have kept your promise Subaru. If you had… my Lia might not have died…" a puff of white fog was blown out as a phosphorescent, yellow eye glared at Subaru's shattered carcass, "but you didn't and this is your punishment... die, just like how my Lia did." The voice sighed.

______________________________

"Reinhard Van Astrea, the sword saint..." The beast of the end said in a booming voice as he looked down at the fiery-red haired man. Reinhard's blue eyes surveyed the surroundings before he turned to the beast standing in front of him, "Ah, please don't call me that, Great Spirit-Sama. I'm nothing but a mere human compared to you." He bowed as he put his hand on his chest. 

"My Lia is dead, Reinhard… I've to abide by my contract and need to destroy the entire world now." A decisive voice was what came out. 

The Beast of the End was dead set on destroying the entire world just for his daughter who had been tragically killed by a disgusting human being— a truly disgusting human being. 

"That's why I am here, I can't have you doing that…" Reinhard's hand made its way towards the dragon sword, "... Since this world is quite important to me." A small tug released it from its sheath. As he lifted it over his head whilst pointing the tip towards the cloudy sky, he smiled at Puck. A smile that didn't show pity or any of the other emotions. It was a genuine smile that gave off an aura of a simple, 'Thank you.' 

"You're a good man, Reinhard." The beast closed his eyes as he awaited his fate. His fate of being erased from this world.

Reinhard's hand swung down as the Dragon Sword let out a huge beam of mana, destroying everything in its path. Reality itself was being destroyed right now.

And as for Puck, he was incinerated in that blizzard as the world itself was reborn.

'Behold an unthinkable present'

"Ah," a distant voice said as soon as the owner of that voice looked at the chopped up body of Natsuki Subaru, "Subaru? What… why, no… how did this happen!? Didn't I kill the sin archbishop of Wrath!? If she is dead then how—" the red-haired man began appraising his surroundings whilst trying to figure out the massacre that was presented to him. 

Everybody that had cheered him on during his aggressive battle with the sin archbishop was lying down on the floor as the huge hole in their chest sputtered out blood from the ruptured veins in their body. Almost all of them had lost their life except for a few, who tried to keep their eyes open but that'd prove difficult when you're on death's doorstep.

"But why?" What part of it didn't he understand? All of them were dead… the same way the sin archbishop had died, what was so confusing about it? "I thought you said you were going to— why did you have to die? Oh cruel god! Why!? Why did Subaru die!?" Reinhard screamed at a non-existent being as tears flowed from his elegant, blue eyes. 

Subaru was his only hope… he was his only hope in finding Felt. Reinhard felt that if he let Subaru die then there's be nothing left for him. He had no way of finding Felt and no way of finding his purpose… 

He needed to di—

'Behold an unthinkable present.' 

"No! Stop! I can't ta–take this anymore, it hurts, stop please!" Natsuki Subaru screamed in an attempt to make this stop but nobody paid heed to his screams as the trial continued, he had died at least a 100-million-times and every thing that happened after he had died was flashing before him, it felt like months, maybe even years but in reality only a minute had passed. All those images, all those frozen bodies, all the blood… it was all on him. He had done those things. He had killed them, he had died and had left them behind. 

Subaru had thought that the world would after he had died but that was definitely not the case, the world would continue without him and everyone in that world would suffer without him. It was painful knowing that.

The cacophony of voices that had merged during the trial, now filled Subaru's mind. Nothing he did could get that discordant mixture out of his head, nothing. 

'Subaru! Liar, liar! Barusu.. ah, even though I thought you could be my 'they', Subaru-dono! No, no, NO, this can't be! How could I— the most diligent of them all— die? That's not possible, not possible. Ahhh~ it's making my brain tremble! I shall end you right here and now, you monster! This shall be your end Natsuki Subaru. Now repent. Ahh~ I'm sorry, did I make you angry? You dare trample on my rights?! I'll end you! Subaru, no! Die, repeat, die, repeat, die, repeat.' the cacophony was making him go crazy, he felt like he was losing what little of his sanity he had. This was too much, too much—

But in the middle of this dissonant moment Subaru heard a single sentence that made the voices in his head disappear, a voice that always managed to make him smile back then, a voice that made him calm, a voice that made him feel like he could do anything, a voice that brought back the harmony that he had lost in that moment.   
"Don't worry, you can do it, Subaru-kun. After all, you're Rem's hero!" The smile that formed on her face was nothing short of breath-taking and the sunlight that shone on her smiling expression at the perfect angle enhanced her beauty by at least 10 times. Her blue hair swayed with the wind as she told Subaru with the sweetest voice, "I know you'll not give up! After all you're not someone who gives up so easily! So go out there and show me how cool you can be! Give it your all, Subaru-kun!"

"Rem…" a distant voice echoed in the sanctuary as Subaru looked up at the ceiling, his tired eyes trying their best to hold back tears that he didn't know even existed. "Rem… Rem… Rem…" the youth called out to her, even though he knew she was somewhere that he couldn't reach. Ah, he wanted to talk to her again. He wanted her to call him her hero again.

He hated the sin archbishop for doing this to her. He hated them. He was so lost without her. What was he supposed to do. Wasn't he supposed to smile and tell everyone that everything was going to be okay? Wasn't he? He was supposed to do that… right?

Subaru Natsuki was losing himself at this point, he didn't know if he wanted to do everything by himself. He didn't know if he was supposed to keep going. But one thing was clear, if he took Echidna's contract then it'd mean he'd be making the same mistake. He'd make them sad again. But then again, there's no way he wouldn't keep dying in this world. This world was cruel, it was cruel to the point that Subaru couldn't handle it. But he couldn't leave this world too. He just couldn't… there were so many things he had gained and lost here. He had a lot of things that he wanted to fix. A lot of things that he had to work out. He couldn't just—

'Ah, shut up! Just go ask Echidna to reissue the contract already! Don't you dare back out now. This is my source of—'

"Shut the fuck up." The voice that escaped his throat was cold, "I don't care what you have to say, but I'm not taking that contract." Subaru got up as his eyes fixated on the entrance of the tomb. This was his chance at redemption, he knew that he had told himself that over and over again. But this was the young man's new found determination. He had to stop dying, he had to do it…for her sake. For Rem's sake, for Emilia's sake.

But he was sure that he was going to die. He was sure that it was going to be difficult but he didn't want to give up. He wanted to be their hero and for that, he'd do anything. He wanted to save them, he didn't want them to die. 

The small flame of hope that had been extinguished during his last loop, seemed to flicker again as he reforged the promise that he had broken ove tens of millions of time, but this time, these words were filled with determination. 

"I will definitely save all of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part didn't make sense, did it?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!


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